Realization

Dude has a 10-year old son and just this week I came to the realization that I have a 10-year old child as well. (I’m a little slow, give me a break)

Obviously I didn’t give birth to him and he’s not legally my step-child, but I essentially have a 10-year old.

You see, I’ve always considered him Dude’s son - someone I saw once a week and every other weekend. Don’t get me wrong – I am involved in his life. I’m on homework duty when we have him (go ahead, ask my about Martin Luther King Jr and long division). I cook for him, shop for him, clean up after him. I (try to) make him abide by my rules. You know, all the basic parental responsibilities. But it’s going to the next step now – I find myself worrying about him - his happiness, his future, his health, everything.

This realization that I’m now a part of a family in which I have responsibilities to a child came about when I was debating joining them on a Boy Scout Family weekend trip.

I have A LOT of work that I should do. I have a run that I should get in. It’s supposed to be nice this weekend so there was even the potential to get a bike ride in. Oh, and I haven’t had a pedicure in months! MONTHS! So I was being my normal *selfish* me and thinking, "cool this is going to be “my” weekend while they’re gone".

*I mean this in a relatively positive way – It’s easy to be selfish when there is just you and a “loved” one (quotes refer to the ex) to take into consideration. *

But the more I thought about bailing out on the weekend, the more I realized that Dude is my family. And since he’s my family, that means HIS family is MY family and I have to be an active part of it. No more sitting on the sidelines and joining in when it fits my schedule.

Once the light bulb switched on I realized that this IS what I want.

This is my life now.

It certainly was never in my plans but it is just where I want to be.